The best asceticism ? To deprive you of deprivation.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 46
At all times, the progress of ignorance
are more remarkable than those of intelligence.
The Ocean of Love, No. 46
Avoid attracting the attention of the powerful,
you would pay for it too much.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
My collection of howlers of the year 2011 2/3
A dozen of Flemish treasure hunters set me an ambush in the forest of Ardennes, near the German border.
First mistake : these louts had their cars parked 150 meters from the scene of the ambush.
Second mistake : mobile phones set on silent, but in action with their beautiful lighting .... real fireflies !
My dear remained, in 2012, words of honor of the great JET, you're going to drool !
At 12 against one, you don't stand a chance !
I will lead you a merry dance !
Even so, Happy New Year !
JET
First mistake : these louts had their cars parked 150 meters from the scene of the ambush.
Second mistake : mobile phones set on silent, but in action with their beautiful lighting .... real fireflies !
My dear remained, in 2012, words of honor of the great JET, you're going to drool !
At 12 against one, you don't stand a chance !
I will lead you a merry dance !
Even so, Happy New Year !
JET
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
My collection of howlers of the year 2011 1/3
This year, Sarkozy has threatened the unfortunate little swindlers.
In truth, in 2011, the truly assisted ones, were the States, such as Greece and ... the banks.
And the real fraudsters, it is them, just them !
JET
In truth, in 2011, the truly assisted ones, were the States, such as Greece and ... the banks.
And the real fraudsters, it is them, just them !
JET
The Ocean of humor, No. 44
What difference between an optimist and a pessimist ?
- The optimist says : We are in the economic crisis for at least ten years !
- The pessimist answers him : yes and I'm afraid there is not enough for everyone.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 43
If you have little money, make yourself rich !
- Put your banknotes against a mirror, this is your fortune doubled.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Slices of life, testified at Christmas !
"Jet, I thank you.
How to explain to someone who does not know you, your valuable aids...
How to explain in simple words, well precisely, the simplicity and natural with which this happens... How to explain all the benefits in our lives of the energies received...
I can only put forward my personal experience : as I, during this year 2011, have been to your seminars, have been able to attend your unprecedented training, and heard you share your state of mind, can measure a very real impact on the improvement of my whole life.
It is from here that I wonder how to testify to others without leaving the impression " that we exaggerate ".
Because I confess, to hear that it is possible to be " without doing nothing " led to being more efficient, more insightful, more efficient, bolder, sweeter, more loving, more acting, more free to dare, more intelligent and perceptive,....
And also hear, that in parallel, the life of every day, while keeping its hazards and difficulties, obviously offers more opportunities for successful projects, more beautiful encounters or immediate solutions to problems, ...
Or that, in health, love and money, we are like taken " up a notch ".
Well, I admit that this may appear as a " soft enthusiastic illuminated ".
Yet it's that simple : the energies transmitted immediately enlighten, raise, bring greater strength and will. Bring enthusiasm, vitality, humor, common sense, lightness and a good state of mind. Inner qualities allowing an outside life of much better quality than in the endless emotions of anxiety or annoyance of any kind in connection with the events of everyday life.Dependence on life's ups and downs for feeling happy or not disappears for a freedom to be.
To be one's best : courageous, strong, tough, confident, winner, player, imaginative, ...
Again, Jet, thank you ! "
M-Louisa
The Ocean of humor, No. 42
Some soldiers in Afghanistan are there because they love war,
others are married and are there because they love peace ...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
CHRISTMAS TALE ?
The story began six months ago. A rainy day of spring, a weather to commit suicide or to get rid once for all of your noisy neighbor. Let's plant the scene : one of these lost village in the North of France, in the Somme, where keeps growing unemployment, drugs, alcoholism and many other things, especially poverty in all of its forms.
A few miles from this place, a kind of beach has been built on the edge of a marsh. On this pallid beach, a bar held by an old surly : the Marguerite.
Its customers ? The ones that will never come to Paris, nor to the Fouquet's, nor elsewhere. The lost ones, old socialists, the forgotten of happiness worn by who knows how difficult and poorly paid jobs.
A few miles from this place, a kind of beach has been built on the edge of a marsh. On this pallid beach, a bar held by an old surly : the Marguerite.
Its customers ? The ones that will never come to Paris, nor to the Fouquet's, nor elsewhere. The lost ones, old socialists, the forgotten of happiness worn by who knows how difficult and poorly paid jobs.
On that day, they are all there, the fine team, the heart of boozers, Marguerite's stock and trade, called " No credit " !
Far from the village, far from their cellulite wives, their stupid sons and daughters, heavy drinkers of beer and hash smokers, the old chaps can stay together and rehash memories.
The richest : Castru.
The poorest : Troissot
Castru pays drinks, lends some money to one another. He, the former second to director of a pension fund understood it all :
Better to be rich among the poor, than poor among the rich.
The richest : Castru.
The poorest : Troissot
Castru pays drinks, lends some money to one another. He, the former second to director of a pension fund understood it all :
Better to be rich among the poor, than poor among the rich.
When the "show-off" arrived, about twenty proud of the gullet warriors were playing card game, darts, rummy, checkers.
You do not dare to think that they were playing Poker or Roulette !
Life is well done ! The rich at the casino, the poor at the back of shabby bars.
Arrives the show-off, anti socialist, anti poverty, anti-gogo.
It's raining, really raining ! Large puddles are flooding the not even full in summer car park ! Not a guide in the world indicates a place like this.
Life is well done ! The rich at the casino, the poor at the back of shabby bars.
Arrives the show-off, anti socialist, anti poverty, anti-gogo.
It's raining, really raining ! Large puddles are flooding the not even full in summer car park ! Not a guide in the world indicates a place like this.
He comes out of his car, looks right to left, shakes his head and wonders how he will reach the oasis.
The troupe, warm inside, sees his hesitation, pulling faces.
- - Where is he coming from the lad ?
The troupe, warm inside, sees his hesitation, pulling faces.
- - Where is he coming from the lad ?
- - What is this car ?
- - I don't know but it must cost loads.
- - Yeah ... watch him ! Eye up a little.
With a sicken look, raising the bottom of his pants, hobbling, the show-off (they have already called him like this) reaches the bar, and opens the door.
- - I don't know but it must cost loads.
- - Yeah ... watch him ! Eye up a little.
With a sicken look, raising the bottom of his pants, hobbling, the show-off (they have already called him like this) reaches the bar, and opens the door.
- Hello ! Nice weather, eh ! Beautiful landscape, fresh countryside and sweet France.
He walks forward, under the severe looks of the chaps, cuckolds of the victorious tomorrows (the working class in power ! And other socialist - communist stupid things)
- - A tea dear lady before I fail, cause I'm a fragile, me. Just crossing the parking lot, eh ! Hard to do. Able to sink both, your mood and the Titanic ... although the latter, if cruising around here would have had no one on board. To come here, at your place, fellows, one must be really obliged. I bet the guy who wins the lottery, will never come round here to spend his money ... I was forgetting ! a tea, but green tea.
- - There's no tea, grumbles Marguerite, sullen little old lady, dressed in a shabby old shirt.
- There's no tea ? How come there is no tea, it is not possible ?
He walks forward, under the severe looks of the chaps, cuckolds of the victorious tomorrows (the working class in power ! And other socialist - communist stupid things)
- - A tea dear lady before I fail, cause I'm a fragile, me. Just crossing the parking lot, eh ! Hard to do. Able to sink both, your mood and the Titanic ... although the latter, if cruising around here would have had no one on board. To come here, at your place, fellows, one must be really obliged. I bet the guy who wins the lottery, will never come round here to spend his money ... I was forgetting ! a tea, but green tea.
- - There's no tea, grumbles Marguerite, sullen little old lady, dressed in a shabby old shirt.
- There's no tea ? How come there is no tea, it is not possible ?
The old woman shook her head.
The show-off sees an old coffee machine against the wall behind the counter.
The show-off sees an old coffee machine against the wall behind the counter.
- Unbelievable, such a thing still exist ! Then it will be a coffee, an arabica, from a southern slope of Saudi Arabia, ha ! ha ! I'm so funny !
In the room, icy silence.
The old woman makes a face and prepares the crap drink ; at the " chtis " and other retarded, coffee, is improved water and bad one on top of it.
- In war as in war, isn't it !
Saying that, the show-off increasingly unfriendly looks at the clients.
- Life is beautiful, don't you think ? Does Martine Aubry come here often ?
In the room, icy silence.
The old woman makes a face and prepares the crap drink ; at the " chtis " and other retarded, coffee, is improved water and bad one on top of it.
- In war as in war, isn't it !
Saying that, the show-off increasingly unfriendly looks at the clients.
- Life is beautiful, don't you think ? Does Martine Aubry come here often ?
No answer, just disregards.
- So, the little chubby does not come here any more, nor than Mimolette Holland ! If he's elected, with such a clown, it's gonna be bad for you ... Ha ! thank you.
This is where it all started, of the beginning.
Putting down the cup and saucer, the old bitch meets the glance of the rude.
And there, a terrible shock within herself.
- I'm coming on behalf of Archi, your beautiful and old love, Margot.
The old woman jumped back. The client spoke softly, but his eyes radiate such power - that instantaneously - the images of Archi's face and body spring out in her and in front of her eyes.
- Are you ok marguerite ?
- So, the little chubby does not come here any more, nor than Mimolette Holland ! If he's elected, with such a clown, it's gonna be bad for you ... Ha ! thank you.
This is where it all started, of the beginning.
Putting down the cup and saucer, the old bitch meets the glance of the rude.
And there, a terrible shock within herself.
- I'm coming on behalf of Archi, your beautiful and old love, Margot.
The old woman jumped back. The client spoke softly, but his eyes radiate such power - that instantaneously - the images of Archi's face and body spring out in her and in front of her eyes.
- Are you ok marguerite ?
Among the old wild animals, it stirs strongly, but not in a peaceful way.
The old Marguerite waves her hand to calm her valiant troops.
During this time the show-off took out an envelope and a cell phone.
He opens the envelope and pulls out two photos.
- Look at him Margot, he may have changed but always thinks of you. The other faded photograph, it's of you with him, half a century ago.
Archi (Archibald) was a young black laborer, who came from the depths of Africa.
The young Marguerite was helping her parents in the same boozer. She failed, and a lot, for this handsome boy with a pretty smile.
To meet in secret, it took a lot of imagination, it lasted two years. Then, the son of the jungle was fired. Human capitalism is no joke.
Half a century that hits you in the heart, it hurts.
The old Marguerite waves her hand to calm her valiant troops.
During this time the show-off took out an envelope and a cell phone.
He opens the envelope and pulls out two photos.
- Look at him Margot, he may have changed but always thinks of you. The other faded photograph, it's of you with him, half a century ago.
Archi (Archibald) was a young black laborer, who came from the depths of Africa.
The young Marguerite was helping her parents in the same boozer. She failed, and a lot, for this handsome boy with a pretty smile.
To meet in secret, it took a lot of imagination, it lasted two years. Then, the son of the jungle was fired. Human capitalism is no joke.
Half a century that hits you in the heart, it hurts.
- He used to call you Margot and you loved each other ...
Immediately tears ran out from the eyes of the poor woman.
Astonishment in the room, bad one, the one that ends up in fight, and Marguerite feels the danger. She gestured to her rheumatic Attilas to seat down.
Immediately tears ran out from the eyes of the poor woman.
Astonishment in the room, bad one, the one that ends up in fight, and Marguerite feels the danger. She gestured to her rheumatic Attilas to seat down.
- Do not worry Margot ! If they ever attack me, I nail them on site or send them through the window ... Look at the back of the photo !
The back of the first photo shows an old negro with white hair (today's Archi), and a phone number. The other photo shows Margot and Archi in a fair, " the famous Ducasse " in northern France.
The back of the first photo shows an old negro with white hair (today's Archi), and a phone number. The other photo shows Margot and Archi in a fair, " the famous Ducasse " in northern France.
The old woman lets her tears go, time during which the unknown dials the african phone number.
Within a few moments, the voice of the good Archi rings out :
- - Is she still there, well alive ?
- - Is she still there, well alive ?
- I also say hello to you... No, she left with a martian, there still is the tire tracks of the saucer on the parking lot. Go Romeo I'll hand her over ...
- Margot, take your Lion on the phone, go to your kitchen, come on Margot be strong !
A smooth and powerful force attracts the old woman to the kitchen, she enters.
- Margot, close the door blows the show-off.
The conversation lasted a long time, the night had began to fall, when she returned and gave back the phone. She'd stopped crying and was smiling, rejuvenated, so refreshed that she almost seemed beautiful.
A smooth and powerful force attracts the old woman to the kitchen, she enters.
- Margot, close the door blows the show-off.
The conversation lasted a long time, the night had began to fall, when she returned and gave back the phone. She'd stopped crying and was smiling, rejuvenated, so refreshed that she almost seemed beautiful.
I'll spare you the details.
Every three months, the show-off came back, always greeted by a warm and smiling Marguerite.
It's simple, the clients were dying of jealousy.
So the show-off returns, this time in an upmarket luxury 4X4, and he and Margot laugh watching other photos that the show-off brought back from Africa.
It's simple, the clients were dying of jealousy.
So the show-off returns, this time in an upmarket luxury 4X4, and he and Margot laugh watching other photos that the show-off brought back from Africa.
- The most beautiful Margot, is that Archi is quite xenophobic, after having dismissed him, these rotten have returned him to Africa, but what's going on ?
What is happening ?
Part of cards to four, two against two, the rich Castru is associated with the destitute Troissot, and Troissot plays badly.
Part of cards to four, two against two, the rich Castru is associated with the destitute Troissot, and Troissot plays badly.
- - Are you doing it on purpose or what, to play so badly ?
- - Nooo !
- - It looks like it !
He is so angry, that Castru launches venomously :
- - Nooo !
- - It looks like it !
He is so angry, that Castru launches venomously :
- - When are you gonna pay me back what you owe me ?
Under the injury Troissot becomes pale, and Castru adds to it.
- - If you had worked more in your life you would not need to borrow !
Nobody says a word, all have more or less been forced to borrow from Castru.
Under the injury Troissot becomes pale, and Castru adds to it.
- - If you had worked more in your life you would not need to borrow !
Nobody says a word, all have more or less been forced to borrow from Castru.
The Castru, we can not retain him, straightening his chest he claims :
- - You're as bad player as you're bad fisherman.
The poor Troissot bows his head, he knows he is the victim of a terrible curse coupled with a terrible misfortune.
In the swamp where the old canal half collapsed leads, there are all kinds of fish, mostly beautiful and very tricky carps.
- - You're as bad player as you're bad fisherman.
The poor Troissot bows his head, he knows he is the victim of a terrible curse coupled with a terrible misfortune.
In the swamp where the old canal half collapsed leads, there are all kinds of fish, mostly beautiful and very tricky carps.
Troissot, when alone, makes beautiful caughts and returns the fishes to the water.
But, and this is where Lady Bad Luck picks him in the liver, whenever fishing with Castru does not catch any or very little.
But, and this is where Lady Bad Luck picks him in the liver, whenever fishing with Castru does not catch any or very little.
- - Doesn't surprise me that your wife left you for an Arab.
This is too much. Troissot, trembling from every limbs, rises :
- - I'm going, I'm going. Castru, you will get your 320 euros, you make me sick, I will not go fishing with you anymore !
- - That's it, go away, go and fish your " whale " alone.
The whale ? A giant carp, mythical, the Loch Ness monster of these desolate places.
One day, a little drunk, Troissot, instead of silence, began :
- - It's Meeee and noooo oneee ellssse who's gonna fiiii ... fissshhhh the ... whaaaallllle ...
Today, injured, wounded, the poor man left the bar.
Marguerite shows up and yells out to Castru, who, safely, did not respond.
Here comes summer, autumn and winter. December 22, 2011 to be exact.
Troissot is fishing alone at the channel output, down below, a paved country road.
- - What is itttt ? Grumbles Troissot who does not want to be disturbed. Him again !!!
This is too much. Troissot, trembling from every limbs, rises :
- - I'm going, I'm going. Castru, you will get your 320 euros, you make me sick, I will not go fishing with you anymore !
- - That's it, go away, go and fish your " whale " alone.
The whale ? A giant carp, mythical, the Loch Ness monster of these desolate places.
One day, a little drunk, Troissot, instead of silence, began :
- - It's Meeee and noooo oneee ellssse who's gonna fiiii ... fissshhhh the ... whaaaallllle ...
Today, injured, wounded, the poor man left the bar.
Marguerite shows up and yells out to Castru, who, safely, did not respond.
Here comes summer, autumn and winter. December 22, 2011 to be exact.
Troissot is fishing alone at the channel output, down below, a paved country road.
- - What is itttt ? Grumbles Troissot who does not want to be disturbed. Him again !!!
Him is the show-off, with another car, one of these big cars that adores the rich.
- - He's coming to show off with his car, the lonely rattles inside.
- This good Troissot ! claims two minutes later the show-off.
- - He's coming to show off with his car, the lonely rattles inside.
- This good Troissot ! claims two minutes later the show-off.
Troissot grits his teeth, he is not his " good Troissot " but as the other one is like glove with Marguerite, he says nothing.
- So like this you're fishing alone and still angry with the infamous Castru ?
Do not answer, do not answer !
- I bet it does not bite ! Sacred Troissot, poor fisherman, bad player ! No luck in life, fortunately for the good Troissot, in the Hereafter there is paradise.
Do not answer, do not answer : he will get tired and leave.
As if he was reading in his thoughts, the smug smiled
- No, I will not leave ! Today is a great day, the day the worst fisherman of the planet, the loser, the number one of card game will know his day of glory.
Do not answer, do not answer !
- So like this you're fishing alone and still angry with the infamous Castru ?
Do not answer, do not answer !
- I bet it does not bite ! Sacred Troissot, poor fisherman, bad player ! No luck in life, fortunately for the good Troissot, in the Hereafter there is paradise.
Do not answer, do not answer : he will get tired and leave.
As if he was reading in his thoughts, the smug smiled
- No, I will not leave ! Today is a great day, the day the worst fisherman of the planet, the loser, the number one of card game will know his day of glory.
Do not answer, do not answer !
- Yes my faithful vassal Troissot, vassal cause I am a gentleman, a true, noble soul, feet and socks, the must of the noble ... Now, where was I ? Sacred Troissot, you confuse me ... yes, your day of glory ! You, Castru's serf, thanks to me, you will be in first place on the soapy podium of success ... " Soapy Success ", it's beautiful ! I speak well and you keep quiet even better, take your gear and follow me !
Do not answer, do not answer ! He is even crazier than usual. Answer him " No I will not follow you ! ".
- - I'm coming ! just the time to pack.
Troissot, well " charmed ", in the magic sense of the word, lost control of his consciousness.
- - I'm coming ! just the time to pack.
Troissot, well " charmed ", in the magic sense of the word, lost control of his consciousness.
- - I'm not allowed to do that, thinks the show-off. But with a little luck, God and the karma angels are busy elsewhere ...
Twenty minutes later, right in the channel, the show-off shows an old release, no one really knows of what.
- Today it is there ... Let's go back and launch a single line. It's winter, so just put maggots or worms on the hook, it will be enough.
Twenty minutes later, right in the channel, the show-off shows an old release, no one really knows of what.
- Today it is there ... Let's go back and launch a single line. It's winter, so just put maggots or worms on the hook, it will be enough.
Troissot, very quietly, takes his time, checks the elastic end of the tip.
" Fortunately I have his conscience on hand otherwise he would not be so calm ". Slowly, a little above, drops the hook baited with a group of maggots.
- Troissot stay calm, make sure you let slip the thread, it must hook itself on its own ... No longer listen, don't hear what I say.
The show-off took out his phone.
- Margot it's me ! Tell all the bistro to come round. Off my eyes I saw Troissot pull the whale out ! Say it to all and especially to that asshole of Castru.
The show-off took out his phone.
- Margot it's me ! Tell all the bistro to come round. Off my eyes I saw Troissot pull the whale out ! Say it to all and especially to that asshole of Castru.
He hangs up.
When they all arrived, Troissot, without speaking, showed them the huge carp weighing 25 kilos and more than 1, 50 meters long.
The picture of the hero and his fish ended up on the regional newspapers.
We even talked of it on the regional broadcast.
When they all arrived, Troissot, without speaking, showed them the huge carp weighing 25 kilos and more than 1, 50 meters long.
The picture of the hero and his fish ended up on the regional newspapers.
We even talked of it on the regional broadcast.
Three days before Christmas, Castru apologized. If we had let him, he would have become friendly.
We celebrated it with " Duchene " champagne.
We celebrated it with " Duchene " champagne.
Suddenly, Troissot launched :
- - Where he is the show-off ?
He wanted to add " It is thanks to him ... " but an inner energy prevented him from continuing.
Margot, in turn, was also surprised :
- Nope, he's not there, weird ! It is him who called me however !
At the same time, violently, the bar's door opens for no reason and slams against chairs.
Everyone jumps :
- - There's no wind yet !
- I'm here all my braves ! But you do not see me and do not hear me ... Cheers and happy holidays to everyone and :
Good and happy holidays to all of you Internet users !
JET
- - Where he is the show-off ?
He wanted to add " It is thanks to him ... " but an inner energy prevented him from continuing.
Margot, in turn, was also surprised :
- Nope, he's not there, weird ! It is him who called me however !
At the same time, violently, the bar's door opens for no reason and slams against chairs.
Everyone jumps :
- - There's no wind yet !
- I'm here all my braves ! But you do not see me and do not hear me ... Cheers and happy holidays to everyone and :
Good and happy holidays to all of you Internet users !
JET
NB: A Christmas Tale in my way, a tale, something that does not exist ... But if this one was real, it would make you happy. You have a good heart, you would like to be endowed with magical powers, do some good around you.
And if that was not a tale, it would give you even more pleasure ...
See for yourself, fairy tale or not ...
And if that was not a tale, it would give you even more pleasure ...
See for yourself, fairy tale or not ...
JET offers you this extraordinary gift !
If you buy a Christmas tree, it will radiate from tomorrow, Friday 23 at noon (12AM) till Sunday midnight (12PM) !
The trees must be turned towards the North or the East !!!!
Spread the word around and testify on www.vostemoignages.com
The trees must be turned towards the North or the East !!!!
Spread the word around and testify on www.vostemoignages.com
Saturday, December 24, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 40
In an asylum, I saw crazy people restless under their beds :
- What are they doing ?
- Here is the room of the automobile neurotic, right now, they are doing their drainage.
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 39
To sum up :
- Someone who is deaf in one ear, hears better from the other.
- One-eyed person, sees better from the other eye.
- The one who has one leg too short, will have the other leg longer.
Conclusion : Life is well done.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 38
Do you know why you need to disinherit your spouse and children ?
- So that their tears be authentic.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Ocean of humor, No. 37
If in a hairdressing salon, you are asked if it is for a cut, answer :
- No, it's for an estimation.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Preparation for the Solstice
In order to prepare this so important and powerful time of the year, JET offers you this sentence to pronounce from December 14 to 21 :
"In Christ, I am in harmony with the solstice of this end of the year 2011"
You can pass it to those interested and then ask them to comment on www.vostemoignages.com !
For information, A solstice is an astronomical event that happens twice each year when the Sun's apparent position in the sky, as viewed from Earth, reaches its northernmost or southernmost extremes. The name is derived from the Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still), because at the solstices, the Sun stands still in declination; that is, the apparent movement of the Sun's path north or south comes to a stop before reversing direction.
The term solstice can also be used in a broader sense, as the date (day) when this occurs. The solstices, together with the equinoxes, are connected with the seasons. In some cultures they are considered to start or separate the seasons, while in others they fall nearer the middle.
The summer solstice neighboring days are the longest of the year, while those near the winter solstice score the longest nights of the year. The dates of summer and winter solstices are reversed for the northern and southern hemispheres, as well as, of course, the traditional seasons after these dates.
Wikipedia
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